The Bank Job

If God loves me for me, why does He need me to change?
Wait, how did I even know He needs me to change?
How do you call me your own when I didn't seem to belong when I needed to be long? My shortcomings, it seemed, defined me enough for you to deny me?
Why did you let me go through molestation and attempted suicide even before I was a teenager? 
Why God? Why me? Why?

My list of questions to God was endless. I often wondered why he always kept mum especially when I needed Him to answer me.
See, I was a believer baptized  yet I was so POOR in spirit, I couldn't make SENSE out of it all. My initial premise for salvation was BANKING on CHANGE, yet I needed to take NOTES of the fact that I would only REAP as much as I INVESTED.
And when the enemy came as a flood my ACCOUNT was LIQUIDATED. 
This house that my spirit dwelt in was MORTGAGED because it still belonged to Him.
I was empty and homeless, brothers who came to CHECK on me BOUNCED because I had nothing, plus, the SIGNATURE of the God in our hearts did not MATCH.
My ASSETS were FROZEN, could no longer receive from Him neither could I give, I became a beggar.
While I was a beggar for change, I came across this INVESTOR who told me he had my best INTEREST at heart and introduced me to the bank of riches in Christ Jesus and He assured me that He is a SAVING ACCOUNT.
Clearly, I needed to be WITHDRAWN out of this misery. So I opened an account with him, deposited all I had and he gave me a card he said this is the PIN,
“Just pray and believe, by faith you will receive the evidence of things that are not yet seen.”
And I believed Him, so that I was birthed into this new life, marked by the cancellation of my DEBT, or so it seemed.
And like new born babes I craved pure spiritual MILK so that by it I would grow in my salvation, but the LACTOSE INTOLERANCE of my Sinful birth had me seeking flesh instead.
And they say you are what you eat. I was mostly flesh, garnished with a little Christian outfit, but right at my center was waste!
Since history taught me to not forget where I came from, I carried some old habits into my new life just to remind me.
I was partly saved and partly privy to this earthly party where people perished because they hid beneath facades just to blend in.
I wanted to be the ILLEST didn't know I was looking FORWARD to be ADMITTED. I tried to find my true color on this palate of lifestyles when I was told to focus on the bigger picture.
But the bigger picture was just my enlarged portrait, see, I still made it about me.
But my picture was flawed, so swollen with pride I couldn't fit in God’s frame.
Then from heaven He stretched His hand and took me back to the drawing board and He said to me,
“I am the master painter, the only one who can turn you into a master piece. 
I did not make you to fit in or conform to the pattern of this world. 
In the flat line that is the mosaic of this dying art, only I will make you the pulse that will stand out and represent life because I will be the beat in your heart.
Right now you are free-falling; it’s why you don’t have self control.But if you would be first firmly founded in me, the solid rock that renders all others sinking sand, then you will be truly grounded. 
The seeds I plant in you will grow and bear fruit of love, joy peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness and self control.Temptations will not take a toll on you because I will short-circuit Lucifer’s network of wires that so easily entangle you.
I am the way, the truth and the life, the means and the end which will be gnashing of teeth if you don’t let me fight for you.I am the one who walked into your execution room and said
“Son, I will take that for you.”
And for your question...? I AM who I AM, I give you identity and you have none till you have mine.I innocently suffered on the cross to the point of shedding blood so your pain is nothing compared to mine, plus, I gave you the strength to overcome, had plans for you that’s why your suicide was bypassed.
You always belonged to me, knew you before you were BIRTHED; I am the one who DELIVERED you. 
Called you son but you never called me father.Came down as the word which was made flesh and dwelt among men so that you would call me brother and friend but you never did.
And here I am again, waiting for you with arms open wide coz this is where you fit in. 
Come to me all you who labor and are heavy laden and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am gentle and lowly in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. 
For my yoke is easy and my burden is light.”
And right then I absolutely, totally and completely surrendered, laid aside my garments of iniquity. Unashamedly naked before Him so that He would cloth me with His righteousness and full armor.
I am now a soldier in His army and I am done asking Him questions.
My question to you is,“Can you afford to not be banked in Him?”